Friday, 12 February 2010


Like most of the Western World, the past eighteen months have been pretty grisly for me.

Like you, I have had enough of global financial crisis, climate scares, swine flu scares, politicians lining their pockets and the growing army of politically correct zombies telling me what to do.........and think!

As far as my own situation goes though, there are other factors which have led me to ask where the joy in life is to be found these days. I'm not getting younger (though I prefer to quote Miss Jean Brodie: "I am in my prime!"), my social life is not exactly glittering and I live on my own in a small flat in what used to be a small Scottish Fishing Village called Broughty Ferry. The plus factors are that I live directly above a pub which I treat like an extended living room and the "Ferry" is a charming place where practically everything you could need is five minutes away.

Don't get me wrong I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am just taking stock - doing a personal audit as they are fond of saying these days.

No, its just the brutal fact that I have managed to do so little with my life that has just recently landed like a mailed fist in my solar plexus.

I am self employed, in a very modest way, and that hasn't been a barrel of laughs recently. I seem to spend all my time scrabbling around to pay the rent etc so just so that I can go through the same mad dance next month and all the time my dreams of writing and film making get pushed further and further back into some even more remote hinterland. The things that I want to do I should have been doing by now. That was the plan. I'm a prisoner of my own cowardice. Well, I was until the dawning of this new decade.

Something about the clock ticking over into 2010 emboldened me. This is probably the last chance I have to stop my dreams from congealing beyond the point of no return.

From now on, creative life is moving to the forefront. If I am going to be broke I would just as soon that it was for a worthwhile reason. I don't want the worst of both the worlds any more.

All messages of encouragement gratefully received

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